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Sunday, August 8, 2010

Three and in !

I started my quest last week by submitting my resume to an online company that claimed to provide work for free-lance writers. They asked me for some sample articles and even though I figured it was more than likely a scam I whipped out a couple in classic ‘Blue Peter’ - "here's one I prepared earlier style," and was promptly accepted into the fold.  I was emailed an instructional video to watch where various people sat around drinking coffee and talking about what a wonderful company it was to work for. It reminded me of the indoctrination process at my current job and ultimately the inane nature of the piece convinced me that it must be legitimate.

The company in question primarily provides articles for those web sites that answer commonly asked questions. You know the type:

"How do you build a nuclear bomb?
Step 1. Clear plenty of room in your garage.
Step 2. Befriend Kim Jung Il on Facebook and ask him for financing.
Step 3. Go to Kazakhstan’s Craigslist and bid on some stolen plutonium ...."

It sounds pretty easy until you are confronted a list of “do's and don'ts” the length of the Bayeux tapestry such as "don't write in passive voice, always use AP style ...except in these 10,000 instances where exceptions can be made." It is less William Wordsworth and more Cyberman dialect. It is hard to adapt to but after 10 years working for the corp. I am using to being broken down and re-educated.

The rule follows the popular English playground soccer variant "3 and in". You submit three articles and if they are all accepted you are in. If they are rejected then you're back to submitting info to Yahoo answers. So far I have had my first two accepted and I am waiting on the third but I am optimistic as the editor only made a couple of curt remarks about the original submission when asking me to make a few edits. I am especially keen to be accepted here as my informants at the corp. this week reaffirmed that people in my class of workers are in line for a pickaxe in the back of the head next year as the Comintern feel they can get more production out of the less costly proletariat members. Here's hoping…

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